When Expectations Collide: Rethinking Gratitude and Perspective in Parenting

Recently, a parent messaged me on Facebook, frustrated by what he saw as his children’s lack of gratitude. “I give them everything - food, shelter, a good home. Why don’t they appreciate it?” 
It’s a question I hear often, and one that strikes a chord for many of us.

The Hidden Gap: What We Give Vs. What They Feel

As parents, we work hard to provide our children with the essentials and more. But sometimes, what we see as loving provision, our children experience as simply “the way things are.” For them, food on the table or a safe home might feel like a given, not a gift.

I remember feeling the same way as a child - rarely pausing to consider the effort my parents put in, or the sacrifices they made. It wasn’t until adulthood, and especially parenthood, that I truly understood. If you reflect for a moment, you may recall feeling similarly.

The Power of Perspective-Taking

Much of the tension between parents and children comes from misaligned expectations. We hope for gratitude; our children hope to feel seen and understood. The bridge between these worlds is perspective.

Try this simple exercise: 
- Think back to your own childhood. What did you take for granted? When did you truly feel grateful, and why? 
- Ask your child, “What makes you feel loved and supported?” Listen openly, without judgment. 
- Notice where your expectations might be shaped by your own upbringing, and where your child’s experience might differ.

Shifting the Mindset

True transformation in parenting doesn’t come from surface-level tips, but from a willingness to question our assumptions and see the world through our children’s eyes. When we let go of rigid expectations and focus on connection, gratitude often follows—naturally and authentically.

A gentle reminder: 
You don’t have to navigate this alone. Every parent faces moments of doubt and frustration. Growth happens when we’re willing to pause, reflect, and try a new approach.

Ready for a Mindshift?

If you’re ready to explore these ideas more deeply—whether you’re struggling with gratitude, connection, or just want to parent more intentionally—I invite you to book a free Discovery Call with me. Together, we’ll look at your unique challenges and uncover practical shifts that can transform your family dynamic.